Message to the Hillary Haters: Get a Life

The latest accusation against Mrs. Clinton will be difficult to top. Her campaign spent an outrageous 1200 dollars on Dunkin' Donuts in one month.

This complaint has been leveled against her not just in internet chat rooms, not just over the dinner tables of Hillary haters across America. Two columnists of the most respected paper in the country, the New York Times, cited this campaign-damning piece of information.

It seems Mrs. Clinton can't manage money. The great minds of the New York Times, we are to believe, are looking out for the interests of Americans. The message is clear. Clinton can't manage money now, so how can we expect her to manage money in larger affairs if elected president?

Not so fast. Let's get out our scientific calculators and do the math. 1200 dollars divided by thirty days equals forty dollars per day.

Some more math: during the first Clinton administration, America created 22 million jobs.

In W's eight years in office, America created less than five million.

Would you like an independent inquiry into the donut spending?

In a second national newspaper, the Los Angeles Times, Joel Stein had the balls (yes, it was a male columnist) to write of Mrs. Clinton:

"You wanted cookies, and she whipped up an oatmeal chocolate chip recipe."

It seems Americans are obsessed with connecting Mrs.Clinton with food.

When was the last time a columnist metaphorically connected gangsta rap with Mr. Obama?

Clinton's latest move, her tirade against the mailers sent out by Mr. Obama's campaign, will almost certainly also be derided in sexist terms.

But, as much as sexists may want to believe it, this is not an example of what Mr. Obama called "the claws coming out" (sexist ass that he is).

Instead, Mrs. Clinton has finally found the female role we, and everyone in the world, can respect:

The role of mother.

I was not the only one who felt, while watching her tirade, that she might tell Barack Obama: "Go to your room".

Does America need yet another masculine hero throwing his weight around on the world stage? Do we need a cool guy on our side, who, through raw charisma, can move people across the world to say together 'Yes We Can' (er, at least the ones with low self-esteem)?

A mother, in contrast, can tell the warring boys to finally lay down their toys. Yes, she can tell the misogynist culture of gangsta rap, even, to take a time out.

To the Hillary haters across the nation and in other countries, I have a simpler, more masculine message (does it suit my gender?):

Shut.

Up.